Heymann & Fletcher

3 ways to help children cope with your divorce

Divorce can sometimes have negative impacts on children because they have trouble adjusting to the new way of life. The challenges can become overwhelming and they might not know how to cope. It is up to the parents to monitor the children and find ways to help them through this emotional time.

Several factors determine how the kids will respond to their parents' split. Younger children might have a hard time because they don't really understand. Older ones might find it difficult to deal with because they don't want to have to make necessary changes.

Addressing emotions

One thing that can help in these situations is to teach the children how to work through their own emotions. This can range from acceptance, since they can't make their parents remain married, to anger that the parents didn't try to work it out (or so they think).

Sometimes, children might try to blame themselves. This is a situation that can be particularly challenging to work through because they might not be willing to accept that they didn't have any part in what led to the split.

Talk to adults in the child's life

Most children go to school and some might spend time with other adults like babysitters or family members. Let the trusted adults in the children's lives know about the divorce so they can help the kids to work through the situation. These adults might notice signs of areas that need to be addressed. In some instances, being able to talk to an adult who isn't involved in the situation can help kids figure out figure out ways to cope more successfully.

Seek help for your children

If you notice that your children are depressed or angry, you might need to get help for them. This can come in the form of a pastor, counselor or mental health professional. Sometimes, family counseling that involves you and your ex is appropriate. Both parents should be willing to do what it takes to help their children.

Your own behavior at the end of the marriage and period after might also have a part in what your kids are going through. If you are stressed out about what is happening, they may feel that way, too. Children tend to feed off of what their parents are felling, so be vigilant when it comes to how you are behaving when they are around. Your goal should be to create a peaceful, loving and stable environment.

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Toll Free: 800-481-8549
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