Perhaps one of the most difficult things about getting a divorce is knowing it is going to have some kind of psychological impact on your children. No matter how rough the relationship with your spouse has become over the course of your marriage, you likely still share a deep attachment to your children and a desire for what is best for them.
If you can both stay focused on your children as you begin divorce proceedings, that may make the process easier on your whole family. The less contentious the divorce, the smoother the transition to your new life can be.
For some families, it is possible to avoid the stress of court, for the most part. Working together in divorce mediation is a great way for you and your spouse to put an unhappy marriage behind you and build a better relationship for co-parenting in the future.
Cooperation in mediation can help you regain mutual respect
The breakdown of your marital relationship could leave you with strong, negative emotions about your ex. It is common for people to focus on the worst traits or behaviors of their partner when trying to find the motivation to leave an unhappy relationship. However, you can't stay focused on the negative indefinitely without that approach impacting your children.
Mediation gives you an opportunity to work together and set your own terms for the divorce. While you have likely been focused on the difficulties the divorce has caused you, mediation will probably open your eyes to consider things from your partner's perspective as well. You'll both have to adjust to life after marriage, as well as new living and family circumstances.
Rebuilding your empathy is a great way to improve the way you relate to one another. Also, the process of working to solve the outstanding issues in your divorce can help find ways to respect each other. The better your relationship, the easier it will be to transition to co-parenting.
Mediation can help you protect your children from the drama of divorce
Divorce in court is often incredibly stressful. Even if your children don't attend court, they will see you leaving every day and likely overhear you discussing it with your friends or attorney on the phone. Your stress level will directly impact your children's stress levels as well.
Mediation is less stressful, in part because you maintain authority over the outcome. Unlike court, where a judge has the final say, mediation is a process that allows you to advocate for your own best interests. It can also help you feel more in control and less scared about the future.
While not every couple can use mediation as part of their divorce, it is an option that can benefit many families in New Jersey. Talking with your attorney about mediation and other methods for dispute resolution can help you decide if it's a good choice for your situation.