Heymann & Fletcher
December 02, 2025

Episode 2 - How Custody and Parenting Time Are Decided in NJ with Alix Claps

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Show Notes – Episode 2

Custody and Parenting Time in New Jersey with Alix Claps

Episode Summary

In this episode of For Better or for Court: Family Law in New Jersey, certified matrimonial law attorney Alix Claps of Heymann and Fletcher discusses how custody and parenting time decisions are made in New Jersey family courts. Drawing on her extensive experience, Alix breaks down the legal distinctions between legal custody and parenting time, explains how courts evaluate the best interests of children, and shares practical guidance for parents navigating custody disputes.

Whether parents are married or unmarried, Alix provides insight into common misconceptions, the role of the child’s voice in custody determinations, and the factors that truly matter when crafting parenting time arrangements.

Key Timestamps

01:20 – Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody
03:15 – Court Considerations
05:40 – Custody Agreements Outside of Court
07:10 – Parenting Time Arrangements
09:45 – Gender Myths in Custody
11:50 – Requests for Full Custody
13:30 – Impact of Schools and Activities
16:15 – Considering the Child’s Wishes
18:40 – Common Misconceptions
21:00 – Advice for Parents
 

About the Show

For Better or For Court: Family Law in New Jersey is a podcast hosted by family law attorney Alix Claps of Heymann & Fletcher. Each episode offers practical legal guidance on divorce, custody, and family law matters in New Jersey. Designed for individuals navigating difficult decisions, the show breaks down complex legal processes into clear, compassionate advice—helping you feel informed, prepared, and supported every step of the way.

Hashtags

#FamilyLaw, #Custody, #ParentingTime, #NewJerseyLaw, #Divorce, #ChildCustody, #MatrimonialLaw, #CoParenting,

 

Understanding Custody and Parenting Time in New Jersey

Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody in New Jersey

Alix Claps, partner at Heymann and Fletcher and a Certified Matrimonial Law attorney, explained that custody in New Jersey has two distinct aspects: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody refers to the authority to make major decisions about a child’s life, such as education, medical procedures, or other significant matters. It does not cover day-to-day choices like clothing or meals.

Physical custody, often referred to as “parenting time,” concerns where and with whom the child resides. This focuses on the child’s living arrangements and schedule rather than decision-making authority.

How Do Judges Decide Custody Cases in New Jersey?

When determining custody, New Jersey courts presume joint legal custody but do not have a presumption for physical custody. Instead, physical custody arrangements are fact-specific. Judges consider factors such as:

  • The number and ages of the children.
     

  • Each parent’s work schedule and location.
     

  • The children’s needs and prior routines.
     

  • Communication between parents.
     

  • The presence of restraining orders, abuse allegations, or addiction issues.
     

  • Financial or employment circumstances.
     

The central standard is always the best interests of the children, not the preferences of the parents.

Can Parents Decide Custody Without Going to Court in New Jersey?

Parents are not required to go to court to determine custody. They can negotiate their own agreements, which is often encouraged. However, it is wise to formalize agreements through the court to ensure enforceability and provide a record in case modifications are needed in the future. Courts are generally required to uphold agreed-upon parenting plans unless they are clearly detrimental to the children.

What Parenting Time Arrangements Are Common in New Jersey?

Parenting schedules in New Jersey are highly flexible and tailored to the family’s needs. While many assume a 50/50 split is standard, there is no legal presumption for equal parenting time. Options include alternating weeks, a 2-2-3 schedule, or customized arrangements depending on the children’s routines and parental availability. Courts typically only impose long-term schedules when parents cannot reach an agreement, which is usually a sign of deeper conflicts.

Do Mothers Have an Advantage in Custody Decisions?

A common misconception is that mothers are automatically favored in custody decisions. Alix Claps emphasized that gender does not determine custody outcomes. Instead, practical considerations, such as work schedules, commuting demands, or teaching positions, often influence arrangements. Societal roles may create patterns, but courts focus on stability and the family’s pre-existing structure. As Claps highlighted, being a mother does not grant any “magical powers” in custody disputes.

When Can a Parent Seek Full Custody in New Jersey?

Requesting sole custody is rare and requires strong justification. Sole legal custody may be granted when co-parenting proves impossible, particularly if parents cannot compromise on essential decisions. Even in those cases, the other parent usually retains parenting time. Parenting rights may only be suspended in extreme situations, such as abuse, neglect, severe addiction, or incarceration.

How Do Schooling, Activities, and Housing Affect Custody?

Parenting arrangements are also shaped by children’s ages, school districts, and extracurricular commitments. Younger children tend to have more flexible routines, while older children may be more rooted in their schedules and activities. In northern New Jersey, housing affordability complicates matters, as parents may struggle to live close enough to maintain continuity for the children. Relocations of even 30 to 40 minutes may significantly impact a child’s stability.

Do Children’s Preferences Matter in New Jersey Custody Cases?

Courts may consider a child’s preferences once the child is deemed mature enough to express them. This can begin as early as ages nine or ten and carries more weight as the child grows older. For example, a 16-year-old’s desire to remain in a particular home or routine is often respected. Once a child turns 18, they are no longer subject to the same level of family court authority.

What Are Common Custody Myths Parents Should Know?

One of the biggest myths is that parents are guaranteed 50/50 parenting time. In reality, the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity. Weekends may provide more meaningful bonding opportunities compared to weekday time filled with schoolwork and obligations. Parenting schedules should prioritize reducing burdens on children while maximizing quality family interactions.

How Should Parents Begin the Custody Process in New Jersey?

Alix Claps advises parents to start by focusing on their children’s daily routines. Understanding a child’s typical week—including school, meals, activities, and care—helps parents design custody arrangements that provide stability. Keeping the children’s needs central to every decision is the most effective way to support them through transitions.