December 02, 2025
Episode 3 - Mediation vs. Litigation: Which Is Right for Your Family?
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Mediation vs. Litigation in Divorce: Which Path Is Right for Your Family?
In this episode of For Better or For Court: Family Law in New Jersey, attorney Alix Claps, partner at Heymann and Fletcher and a certified matrimonial law attorney, breaks down the two main approaches to divorce—mediation and litigation. She explains how each process works, the key differences, and when one path may be more beneficial than the other.
Alix provides insight into how mediation can help families resolve disputes more quickly, creatively, and cost-effectively compared to court litigation, while also addressing common misconceptions about when mediation can be successful. She also outlines the limits of litigation, why judges are restricted in the decisions they can make, and how mediation often helps parents craft more personalized solutions.
Whether you’re considering mediation, preparing for court, or unsure which direction is best, this episode offers clear, practical guidance to help you move forward in your divorce process.
Key Timestamps
00:40 – The difference between mediation, litigation, and arbitration in divorce
02:05 – How mediation can work even in contentious or high-conflict cases
04:15 – What mediation looks like in practice and when the court requires it
05:30 – How litigation limits creative solutions for families
06:20 – Why mediation is almost always a useful tool
07:05 – The timing and cost advantages of mediation
08:20 – What happens if mediation doesn’t work and you still need court
09:05 – The role of attorneys and other professionals in mediation
09:30 – First steps for deciding between mediation and litigation
About the Show
For Better or For Court: Family Law in New Jersey is a podcast hosted by family law attorney Alix Claps of Heymann & Fletcher. Each episode offers practical legal guidance on divorce, custody, and family law matters in New Jersey. Designed for individuals navigating difficult decisions, the show breaks down complex legal processes into clear, compassionate advice—helping you feel informed, prepared, and supported every step of the way.
Hashtags
#FamilyLaw, #NewJerseyLaw, #DivorceMediation, #DivorceLitigation, #ChildCustody, #ParentingTime, #DivorceProcess, #MediationVsLitigation, #CustodyLaw, #DivorceSupport
Mediation vs. Litigation in Divorce: Understanding the Best Path for Families in New Jersey
Divorce in New Jersey can take different paths, and choosing between mediation and litigation is one of the most critical decisions a family can face. Attorney Alix Claps, partner at Heymann and Fletcher and a Certified Matrimonial Law attorney, explains the key differences between mediation, litigation, and arbitration, and how families can determine which option is best for their situation.
What Is the Difference Between Mediation and Litigation in Divorce?
According to Alix Claps, mediation allows the individuals involved in the divorce to make their own decisions and reach agreements that work best for them. In contrast, litigation involves asking a judge to make those decisions within the framework of court rules, statutory factors, and case law. A third option, arbitration, is similar to litigation but places decision-making in the hands of a neutral third party who is not an active judge.
The essential question families must ask is whether they want to make decisions for themselves through mediation or have someone else, such as a judge or arbitrator, make those decisions for them.
Can Mediation Work in High-Conflict Divorces?
Many people assume mediation only works when spouses get along, but Alix Claps emphasizes that mediation can still be effective even in contentious situations. In fact, New Jersey allows mediation even when a restraining order is in place, though the process is structured differently.
In those cases, the parties are kept separate, and the mediator facilitates communication. Mediation often gives spouses the opportunity to voice their perspectives directly, something they rarely get in litigation, where attorneys typically do the speaking. This element can make mediation more productive, even in high-conflict relationships.
How Does the Mediation Process Work?
The process varies depending on the situation. Couples may seek out a mediator before any court involvement, with or without attorneys. Sometimes mediation begins after a case has already started in court, and judges often require parties to attend at least two hours of mediation before moving forward.
Mediation is also useful after a divorce is finalized. If circumstances change—such as relocation, job changes, or adjustments to child support—parents can return to mediation to update their agreements instead of immediately going back to court.
How Is Litigation Different From Mediation?
Litigation is far more rigid than mediation. Judges are bound by statutes and case law, which limits creativity in resolving issues such as equitable distribution, alimony, custody, and child support. In mediation, families can explore tailored solutions that reflect their unique circumstances, something not always possible in court.
When Is Mediation Recommended Over Litigation?
Alix Claps notes that mediation is almost always a useful tool, even when not used to resolve every issue. Mediation can help narrow disputes, reduce court involvement, and lead to quicker solutions. Even in cases that ultimately require a judge’s ruling, mediation can simplify the process and minimize conflict.
What Are the Advantages of Mediation?
Mediation often saves both time and money. New Jersey courts are heavily backlogged, with cases sometimes taking four to five years to reach trial. Mediation allows families to address issues quickly, such as child custody schedules, summer camp decisions, or changes to school arrangements.
While mediation may involve paying attorney and mediator fees upfront, it is typically far less expensive than a multi-day trial. Additionally, mediation provides families with flexibility to address urgent matters without waiting months for a court date.
What Happens if Mediation Fails?
If mediation does not result in an agreement, families can still proceed to court. Importantly, New Jersey law protects mediation discussions under “mediation privilege,” meaning that offers or compromises made during mediation cannot be used against either party in court. This encourages open and honest dialogue during the process.
Can Attorneys Participate in Mediation?
Parties may choose to bring their attorneys to mediation, and in some cases, additional professionals such as financial or custody experts may also be involved. While mediators are often experienced family law attorneys, they serve as neutral facilitators and cannot provide legal advice to either party. Having an attorney present ensures that each individual’s interests are represented while still benefiting from the mediator’s guidance.
What Is the First Step in Choosing Between Mediation and Litigation?
For those unsure which direction to take, Alix Claps recommends consulting with a mediator. Just as attorneys often provide initial consultations, mediators do as well. This allows individuals to get a sense of the mediator’s style—whether more gentle or more directive—and determine if the approach feels right for their situation.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is a deeply personal process, and no two cases are alike. Mediation empowers families to take control of their outcomes, often leading to faster, more flexible, and cost-effective resolutions. Litigation, while necessary in some cases, places the final decision in the hands of a judge.
By understanding the strengths and limitations of both mediation and litigation, families can make informed decisions that prioritize stability, fairness, and the well-being of everyone involved.